Aberforth Dumbledore-His Story
by kymm
Summary: An old man with a cane...okay, this is about Albus Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth. He was mentioned in GoF, anyway, please R/R!


Aberforth Dumbledore: His Story by: Katrine ([katrinepotter@angelfire.com][1])

Disclaimer: I don't own them, so don't sue, okay? ::glares at lawyers, who back away from Katrine, then run::

Summary: An old w/a cane…bout Dumblydores (bwahaha) brother, he is VERY different from Albus, and his name is Aberforth. Here is an interesting tale about him. Please R/R!

Takes place after Harry, Ron, and Hermione's 2nd year, during the summer. Not that that really matters, but…

On weeeeeth it!!!!!!

What better way to start off a tale then with a song? 

__

He's an old man with a cane,

His name is Aberforth…bababa…DUMBLEDORE! 

Well, anyway, that's what all the neighborhood kids sang at him. It was probably true. Aberforth Dumbledore was an old man, about 75 years of age (he himself couldn't even remember how long) and was never seen without his walking stick. Another point about this old man is that he was _strange_. 

You see, Aberforth always held this…this _stick_ type of thing in his hand, and told all the kids that he would turn them into a brick if they kept their 'rubbish' up. The kids, in turn, would laugh at him, and continue to sing and taunt. For they thought old wacky Aberforth Dumbledore was just a strange old man. 

They were wrong. 

* * * * 

You see, Aberforth was _not _just a strange old man who threatened little children with sticks. Oh no, not at all! He was a wizard, and the brother of a well-known wizard, whom you might have already guessed about. 

He was the brother of Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

* * * * 

Aberforth was always a disappointment to his mother and father, Alastor and Grendela Dumbledore. He never had that well of grades at school, and he never read. (In fact, his parents weren't even sure if he could read at all.) As for Aberforth, he didn't really care. 

His older brother, Albus was an excellent student, and a prefect and head boy. Alastor often said that Albus would be the next headmaster of Hogwarts. 

Albus never bragged, however. He had often tried to reach out and help Aberforth with his Transfiguration essay, or his Potions Brew. Aberforth just resisted all types of help, and went on to be more of a pest than anything. But as I said before, Aberforth seemed to have better things to do. 

So they went their separate ways. Aberforth loitered in Muggle communities (and sometimes Diagon Alley, but hardly ever) while Albus became the next headmaster of Hogwarts, just as Alastor Dumbledore, his father, had said. 

And Aberforth…well, you know his story already. He just lived in various Muggle towns, going about his 'business' as he called it, of pestering maids and housekeepers at the door, and threatening the kids with his 'stick'. 

The community Aberforth currently lived in was a very small farming village, with about 1500 people. It seemed like a long-term place of residence, for he had lived there for nearly 5 years, a real record for him. 

* * * * 

A foggy Wednesday morning, is where our real tale begins, because Aberforth did a…strange…thing to a…well, that will come later. Let's begin, shall we? 

"Goddamn MUGGLES!" roared 75-year-old Aberforth Dumbledore. Yet again, those stupid kids had come and pestered him. Why he hadn't turned that little Susie Hill into a brick…the nerve of the little brat, to call him a mad old madman! Alas! 

The laughter of the children went to an even higher level, and Aberforth gave a big "Hrrrrrrrrrmmmppphh!" and wobbled away on his walking stick. 

"What an old geezer!" grumbled little Callista Grenhille. 

"I wonder where he lives?" said another child. 

"Does he enjoy calling us names?" 

"What in the name of god is a 'Muggle'?" 

"Probably something he made up in that mad mind of his!" 

Aberforth, whom probably heard these comments, ignored them and continued wobbling on up the street. Now that he thought about it, maybe he should go to Diagon Alley, or perhaps Hogsmeade. 

Aberforth headed for The Barn. His parents would have been ashamed of him, living in other people's barns, and making a living out of tormenting little kids. 

But why? You may be asking. Why did he choose this for himself? The answer is quite simple; he enjoyed it. He enjoyed being with them, though they thought he was insane. Or maybe the reason he liked the children was because he wasn't in his right mind. I don't know, and Albus Dumbledore himself doesn't even know. 

You be the judge. 

Well anyway, he wobbled on into the barn, and sat on a pile of hay. That's when he noticed…a goat. Perhaps not very significant to a normal person; a goat, but to Aberforth this was very strange. To all of his knowledge, nothing lived in this barn. Not a cow, not a chicken, and certainly not a goat. 

Aberforth shrugged and looked at the goat for awhile. _Might come in handy for a little milk 'n' cheese, _he thought to himself. That's what reminded him, very suddenly, that he was hungry. The goat could come in handy. For milk and cheese. So Aberforth stood up and wondered over to the goat. He looked at it. And then he got very angry. 

"It's a male! Males can't give milk! Dammit! I'm hungry! Turn into a female!" he shouted at it stupidly. That's when an intelligent thought clicked on in his head much like a lightbulb. _Turn it into a female. _After all, he was a wizard, and his best subject in school had been transfiguration, although he hadn't been very good at those essays. He could just turn a few of its organs into…well, female reproductive organs and such, and he would have…Ta da! A female goat, which would get him his supper of milk and cheese. It shouldn't be _too _hard. 

He pulled his wand out of his back pocket, and studied the goat for a bit. It had been awhile, and his mind wasn't what it used to be. He bent on his knees, and began trying to do the transfiguration. 

****

At the same time, at the Improper Use of Magic Office, the Ministry of Magic…

Mafalda Hopkirk, the head of the Department of Improper Use of Magi, sat at her desk. What an exhausting day! So far, three people had put illegal property charms on their property, and one child had used illegal magic over the summer holidays! Goodness, why didn't these people just follow the rules? It wasn't like they were too incredibly difficult, _honestly_—

"Ms. Hopkirk?" said a young witch, an intern, named Hermana Dwelvla. 

"Yes Ms. Dwelvla?" 

"The scouts have picked up an illegal use of…well, transfiguration, on a goat, ma'am. It seems like this man tried to turn it into…well, the opposite sex!" 

"Oh for goodness sakes! That was outlawed years ago! What is with these people?" Hopkirk shrieked. 

" And, er, he did it in the small Muggle town of Greenwick. In a Muggle barn. And—, well, he seems to have turned part of himself into a goat, well, inside the goat? I'm not entirely sure. The scouts didn't say much. I suggest we send down officials from the Accidental Magic Reversal Department down there, and, well, fix the situation. Oh and also, he was reported to be a very old man, so perhaps he forgot about the law?" 

"Perhaps. I'll go with the Magic reversal department. I'd like to see this one for myself. Hermana? You are in charge of the office until I return." 

The young intern smiled, and sat down in Ms. Hopkirk's desk, wondering how angry she would be when she got back. 

* * * * 

Remember what Hermana said about Aberforth turning parts of himself into a goat? Well, it is quite more complicated than that. 

You see, Aberforth accidentally turned hi head into a goat's head, so the goat now had his head, and Aberforth had the goat's head. The goat also had his voice, legs, and arms. And, of course, Aberforth had the goat's arms, legs, and voice. It might have been quite funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. 

"What the hell went wrong? Maybe I should have read—." Then he remembered he couldn't read. –"well, perhaps I should not have done this." The goat said (of course with Aberforth's voice). 

Aberforth was galloping around the barn, making very goat-like sounds. This circus continued for awhile, until Mafalda Hopkirk and the ministry officials turned up, and saw the goat and Aberforth…well, talking and galloping. 

"Good lord!" said Hopkirk. "What…what…what in the world…were you trying to do?" 

"I was trying to turn this goat into a female, saw I could have my milk and cheese for supper!" replied the goat. Aberforth, of course, just continued to gallop around the barn. 

"I see it went a little haywire." Said one of the AMRD officials. 

"Indeed. Well, shall we take these two to Minerva McGonagall, she's the best tranfigurator around, she'll know how to fix this." Said Hopkirk, and she frowned at the goat. "And sir, what is your name? I must have it, so I can start a file on this case." 

"Dumbledore, Aberforth." 

"WHAT? You're Professor Dumbledore's brother? Goodness!" said Hopkirk, feeling as if she had had enough surprises for one day. 

"If ya mean old Albus, yeah, he's my brother." 

* * * * 

Via Portkey (because, of course, They could not apparate to Hogwarts grounds) Aberforth, the goat, Mafalda Hopkirk, and the AMRD officials went to Hogwarts. 

I'll spare you all the boring details of Aberforth's transfiguration back to his body, but it took quite awhile, and Professor McGonagall had a real headache after she was finished. 

And, what you're probably wondering, did Albus Dumbledore come and see his brother? Oh yes! Quite an interesting meeting, but it is really a whole other tale.

And…as for Aberforth's punishment? No, he was not sent to Azkaban, that is really too harsh for such an incident. There was a trial, however, as he was prosecuted, and sent to a smaller wizard prison, Kelarpa's Center for Unstable Wizards and Witches, for 3 years. 

And, when he gets out next year, we might have another interesting story on our hands, hmmm?

****

The End 

A/N: Here is where the idea for this story came from:

"An excellent point." Said Professor Dumbledore. "My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the tabloids, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual. Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so it might not have been bravery…"© J.K. Rowling, 2000.

That is out of the GoF, and I wrote off her idea. This is what I think Aberforth Dumbledore would be like. Bwahaha. 

And remember kids, never try to change the sex of a goat with transfiguration. 

Thank you for reading!

**** **** __

   [1]: mailto:katrinepotter@angelfire.com



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